<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Next Seat Beautiful by mob_eyes</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26047072">Next Seat Beautiful</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mob_eyes/pseuds/mob_eyes'>mob_eyes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword &amp; Shield | Pokemon Sword &amp; Shield Versions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drama, Feelings Realization, I'm adding a mob character for plot, M/M, Oop, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Past feelings resurfacing, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, pinning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:33:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26047072</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mob_eyes/pseuds/mob_eyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Raihan wasn't the kind of guy who really had a standard for those he dated. But with a face like his and the popularity to boot, this was often the assumption. His exasperation growing with each break up.</p>
<p>Everything seemed down until he runs into an old friend and is reminded about an old infatuation. </p>
<p>But could he ever bring himself to say it aloud?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kibana | Raihan/Nezu | Piers, Past Leon/Sonia (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Odds and Clichés</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I do and don't know where I'm going with this.</p>
<p>takayan-san's 「<a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/1Yqn7x5V7b9RpXHrx8z5du">next seat beautiful</a>」is what sparked this nonsense. I like the idea of a semi-bleeding heart Raihan enduring the sufferings of love and eventually pinning for something he may or may not be able to bring himself to go after. </p>
<p>(I'm playing around with the order of who Raihan probably canonly met first, for creative liberties)</p>
<p>Rating will go up</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He wasn’t one to set a bar for others to reach. Wasn’t the type to enforce a social ladder for everyone to climb; some wobbly structure solely based off of appearances and no other merits. Unfortunately, this was an assumption of many of his admirers, but Raihan was not at all a scumbag. People felt this way though—that he only wanted to pursue the plastics, the fit and the beautiful—just because he was “popular”. And sure, many of his ex girlfriends were, in fact, attractive. Not that that even mattered. But, his popularity came with a price tag.</p>
<p>People came and went; the ones who were brave enough to approach him. And it was always short-lived, because at some point, they began feeling threatened by their own insecurities and ending it with him saying things like “I’m no good. I'll never be enough. You’ll probably leave me for so-and-so anyway.” And such. What's worse was that he never once did anything to make any of that a reality, in fact, he was faithful to a fault. Always wishing that he would find a soulmate, someone to grow old with…someone who’s beauty would fade with his. He really didn't come off that way though.</p>
<p>
  <i>Lady killer</i>
</p>
<p>Raihan hated that nickname. And although his friends were only kidding when they said it, he knew that this was something that some people really felt that he was. A player, a womaniser of sorts. And that was far from the truth.</p>
<p>Raihan never set a bar and didn't really have a preference. But admittedly, he did have a weakness for long hair.</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmmmmn” the redhead cocked her head to the side, twirling a strand of hair between manicured fingers as she watched her friend across the wooden café table. </p>
<p>The café was luckily not crowded, probably thanks to it being a Wednesday, so it made for the perfect place to inquire what had been on his mind. For the past few days, the normally sociable Raihan had been avoiding returning texts or calls to their friend group. And in 3 days, only posted twice on social media, which was a dead indicator that,</p>
<p>“You were dumped again, huh?” she asked rather bluntly, considering that this was not an uncommon pattern of events. She could see him visibly flinch at the mention of the <i>d-word</i>. She normally teased him about it, but was slightly more concerned since he seemed more bothered this time around.</p>
<p>Raihan looked out the window for a moment, grimacing when he saw a couple walk by. It was as if it were on queue. Which he didn't find funny.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna die alone, aren't I Sonia?” he deadpanned. She almost wanted to laugh at his overly serious expression but choose to wipe her mouth on a napkin instead. </p>
<p>“I…I doubt that, love. But humor me, what was it this time? She wasn’t feeling it? Did she accuse you of doing something?” Sonia leaned in, pushing aside her half drank iced tea lemonade. He scratched his forehead roughly, under the orange half-beanie.</p>
<p>“Well...she said she felt like I didn’t like her as much as she liked me. She started getting it in her head that I was messing around or something. ‘With a face like that, you really can get any girl. I’d be none the wiser.’” He did air quotation marks. Sonia hummed at this, running her thumb over the chipped polish on her index finger.</p>
<p>“She sounds like the insecure type. Ah, I but her feelings…I feel for them.” He made a slightly defensive face. She shook her head continuing, “during sixth form, remember how I mentioned that Leon and I dated for a few months, well I had similar thoughts. Even though I knew he wasn’t doing anything wrong, I couldn’t help but feel I was never enough or thinking ‘guys like him don't date girls like me’ It drove me mad! Him being the most popular guy and me…I mean, I faired a good 7 at the very least but still! I honestly felt much better just being friends.” Raihan crossed his arms, looking down at his watered down iced coffee.</p>
<p>“But I’m already 21.” He groaned, feeling frustrated at the situation. “I have <i>friends</i>, hell, I’ve known our Majesty for like 6 years, I met you thru him and met Nessa thru you. All that I’m content with. I just want a steady relationship. Is it so bad I want that for myself?” the redhead pondered this for a second, nodding.</p>
<p>“Mmhm, terribly selfish of you. How dare you have the audacity to want to fall in love when the rest of us are all single.” She said sarcastically. He blinked at her for a moment a little caught off guard before laughing. It was his ugly laugh, which was a relief for Sonia to hear. She finished the rest of her beverage.</p>
<p>“I really hate you, y’know.” She smiled at his response.</p>
<p>“All jokes aside, I know you’re a good guy. And people like you, certainly the odds will be in your favor. I do hope soon.” </p>
<p>When the waitress approached their table to clear it off and bring their check, Raihan quickly snatched the bill, placing his card onto the plastic tray and handing it back to her with a smile. She blushed, taking the glasses and card out of sight. </p>
<p>“Raiha—” he put his hand up to interrupt her.</p>
<p>“My treat. For listening to me. Also, I’m a good guy.” He teased. She eyed him playfully, rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>“Ever the lady killer.”</p>
<p>x x x</p>
<p>It wasn’t a crime and it was sure as hell was legal to do so but, he couldn't help but feel like he was doing something wrong, shuffling into the small liquor store at the corner of the street near his apartment. He kept the hood of his dark charcoal colored hoodie up, trying to avoid eye contact with the other patrons in the cramped store. He made his way to the back cooler, eyeing his options. He didn’t really know a whole lot about liquor. But he really did want <i>something</i> to preoccupy his mind and his aching heart. Maybe he’d grab a bite to take home, watch a movie or something. It was raining after all.</p>
<p>Raihan mentally face-palmed, feeling somewhat embarrassed. <i>‘what am I? A teenage girl?’</i> shaking that thought away, he grabbed a random tall can. It was an IPA. Not that he knew what that meant. The can was appealing though, with some nice dragon art on it. He grabbed a bag of peanuts too for the hell of it, making his way to the register. He showed his ID and paid without issue. Cradling the brown paper bag against his chest, he made for the exit. He must’ve been too far into his own head because he didn’t realise he walked right into someone until he heard them hurl an insult or two at him. </p>
<p>Raihan wasn’t sure what to make of this situation.</p>
<p>His cyan colored eyes met with similarly colored green-blue, albeit more annoyed ones. The man was much shorter than himself, reaching his shoulders. He was pale and looked like he hadn’t slept in days. His hair was very long from what Raihan could tell, based off of how large his messy bun was. The black and off-white swirls made it look like a skunk was resting damply on top of his head, which was a pleasant sight for some reason. The grey-purple eyeshadow and thin eyeliner really pulled the twice divorced look together. Actually...it was kind of attractive.</p>
<p>“Wait…<i>Raihan</i>?” Hearing his name, the taller snapped out of his admiration. He raised a brow, wondering if his vague familiarity meant anything. The other male rolled his eyes, pulling Raihan's arm to guide them out of the doorway of the liquor store. Luckily, they were shielded from the rain still. “Piers, you blithering fool.” </p>
<p>Piers.<br/>
Piers.</p>
<p>PIERS!</p>
<p>
  <i>‘You mean, my secondary school mate Piers? Sat at the back of the classroom, always writing Piers? Piers, first person I ever ki—’</i>
</p>
<p>“Wow. What are the odds! I didn’t even recognise you!” Raihan smiled, a genuine smile, motioning his hand between them, indicating their heights, “last I saw you, you were probably around my ribs. Well, guess we both pretty much were.” </p>
<p>“I didn’t expect you to become a bloody giant, mate. Seems you’re in good health.” Piers half smiled, tucking some hair behind his ears. Raihan paused for a second, watching the gesture.</p>
<p>“I— what have you been up to?” Piers shrugged, flicking his hand lethargically.</p>
<p>“Oh, y’know. Livin’, doin’ things here or there.” The vague response made for so many more questions.  </p>
<p>Raihan opened his mouth to continue speaking when the shorter’s phone began ringing. Piers pulled the device out of his black knee length trench coat, raising his hand to pause the conversation to take the call. He stepped to the side but Raihan did catch the name 'Marnie’. If he remembered correctly, that was his younger sister. Looking back, he realised a lot of time had passed between now and the last time he saw his old acquaintance. 6 years? So around the time he met Leon and Sonia. </p>
<p>He didn’t remember them ending their friendship on bad terms. In fact, recalling, it was because Piers moved away or transferred schools or something. And since that was so long ago, it was far too late to feel any bitterness towards the fact that the other never contacted him. </p>
<p>So why <i>now</i>, did he feel a little disappointed? </p>
<p>He himself hadn’t made the effort either. Not to mention that he nearly had forgotten about all about him. </p>
<p>He began shifting his weight uncomfortably between feet, standing there awkwardly holding the, now probably, warm beer. He half debated telling Piers that he would take his leave and hopefully they’d run into each other but…something in his gut wouldn’t let him and so he stayed in that awkward position for the duration of Piers’ phone call.</p>
<p>A part of him wanted to say that Piers looked exactly as he remembered him, but that wasn’t really the case. He knew his complexion was light, but he remembered him having more color to him. Maybe it was the hair? It was much shorter back then, shoulder length, and it wasn’t dyed yet. He also didn’t wear any makeup, which was fair considering that would've been asking to get picked on in school. He was still an attractive teenager back then though. But now as an adult… </p>
<p>Raihan couldn’t stop staring. And luckily Piers had his back turned to him. </p>
<p>It was initially hard to tell from the large coat, but based on how thin the other’s legs were in the plaid skinny jeans he wore and his wrist poking out from the long coat sleeves as he held his phone…Raihan concluded that Piers was, in fact, <i>thin</i>. Not to mention his height. It really complimented his stature. Overall, he felt like his shape was nice from what he could gather. He kind of wanted to see it out of that coat.</p>
<p>The disgusting humidity did Piers’ hair no justice but the messy bun, like Raihan thought earlier, was pleasant to look at and if he was being honest, he kind of wanted to see it down. These intrusive thoughts left a knot in his throat. He had to resist the urge to jump in front of a cab.</p>
<p>Maybe it was because his heart was still recovering from this last romantic adversity…</p>
<p>Piers finally ended the conversation, slipping the device back into his pocket and tightened his bun, throwing his hood over it. He turned towards Raihan again, who, probably stood up straight way too quickly to not have been suspicious. </p>
<p>“Hey, so…I actually live right down the street. Did you wanna swing by for a bit? I mean we haven’t seen each other in ages, we could catch up?” Raihan suggested, scratching the back of his head. He tried his best not to sound too overly enthusiastic. </p>
<p>“Unfortunately I can’t. I’m plannin’ on meeting up with Marnie.” </p>
<p>“Ah. Yeah, alright. Maybe another time then!” Raihan chuckled, adjusted his own hood. It was hard to keep his smile from wavering the way Piers was eyeing him, his blue-green eyes trying to read something. Piers then shrugged turning on his heel doing a 180. He took a few steps forward, waving his hand. Raihan wanted to stop him but couldn’t bring himself to call out. Maybe they’d run into each other again soon. Maybe next time they'd stay into contact with one another…he could only hope. </p>
<p>Raihan tried to shrug it off, his half smile to himself coming off more disappointed than anything, he turned around as well and began making his way through the bustling Hammerlock late afternoon. The rain still came down, unfazed by human dilemmas.</p>
<p>He hadn’t even seen this person in literal years. He wasn't even a thought past the first year that they stopped speaking. So logically, he had no reason to feel like a kicked puppy. But seeing an old face that was important to him way back when, it almost felt like things would suddenly change in his life. Like those movie clichés were the clouds are lifted and everything is brighter all of a sudden.  </p>
<p>Here he thought everything happened for a reason. </p>
<p>“Wait!” suddenly he felt himself being pulled backwards. He snapped his neck back, neatly twisting it out of place and nearly dropping the can he was still cradling, to see a short of breath Piers. He grabbed ahold of Raihan’s free arm, pulling the damp hoodie sleeve halfway up his forearm. He reached into his coat pocket for what looked like a pen. It wasn’t.</p>
<p>Raihan didn’t even mind the pressure of the numbers being forced onto his skin as Piers worked quickly and recapped the dry eyeliner pencil. He turned around to leave again, but not without giving the taller an almost playful smirk in his direction. Raihan probably looked ridiculous standing there with his eyes shot open, like another junkie on the streets. </p>
<p>“<i>Another time</i>, you bloody giant.” Piers called back before disappearing into the sea of elderly and tired employees of the nearby businesses. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t know what to make of the uncomfortable warmth creeping up his neck or the hard knocking in his chest. These feelings weren’t completely foreign though, as he recalled <i>one</i> other time he really felt this way. Quickly he shielded the numbers from the rain, which had picked up like it was trying to wash away any chance he had at making sense of everything that had happened today.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Thinking back, yeah it was like that huh?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This ended up much longer than I expected, oop</p><p>(I didn't have time to beta thanks to work, sorry for any mistakes)</p><p>I feel like the pacing isn't so good in this one, I'll try to fix that next ch</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He felt drunk. </p><p>Call him a lightweight but his head felt fuzzy as hell. Maybe it was because he ran at full speed down the street to his flat, tripping up the stairs and when he got inside, decided to chug the entire warm IPA—which tasted awful by the way—and just stared at his arm for a good 10 minutes before passing out. An ambulance driving past his building stirred him from his uncomfortable slumber on the couch. Raihan sat up, rubbing his eyes. When his vision cleared, he checked the time on his phone, squinting at the blinding light. It was 2:18 in the morning. He removed himself from his neutral colored sofa, feeling disgusting in his day clothes. They were no longer damp, save for the parts that were bunched together, like in the crook of the elbow for example.</p><p>He debated taking a shower but seeing as he would have to be up in a few hours anyway, settled with removing everything minus his boxers. He’d just shower then. Raihan noticed a tiny black smudge on the outside of his hand. In a panic, he quickly looked at his forearm. The numbers that were there were barely legible. </p><p>
  <i>‘Fucking hell…'</i>
</p><p>He tried for a bit under different lights in his apartment to make out what was written, but in the end he could only see 2 or 3 of the numbers. Raihan threw his head back, groaning and running his hands over his face. He made a big deal about trying to protect it yesterday, but he was an idiot for not have immediately written it down before ‘celebrating’. </p><p>He was too tired right now to feel frustrated. If it was really such a big deal, he’d just have to figure it out. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Everyone stared like they had just witnessed a car crash. It was a little unnerving the way their eyes barely blinked. The artificial lights in the building were obnoxiously bright and only worsened the ache in the back of his skull. Out of the group of people, a beautiful, put together woman stepped forward.</p><p>She folded her arms neatly across her chest, the iridescent pearl necklace she was wearing clinking softly. She blew a strand of her dyed hair out of her face, trying to remain as calm and graceful as stilled water, lest she risk losing her shit.</p><p>The tall body made no effort trying to pick himself up off of the recently waxed wooden floors, letting his long legs dangle over the seat of the folded chair. He mirrored her, having his arms crossed, although he looked less graceful with his back against the chair against the floor. Another woman eventually stepped forward, clipboard in hand and looking between the two before speaking,</p><p>“Ah, Miss Nessa, should I call an ambulance?” she glanced back at Raihan who continued to stare at the ceiling. Nessa chuckled, waving her off.</p><p>“No. Don’t worry about him, he’s fine. In fact, you lot should probably get back to work.” The group of 5 or 6 people exchanged concerned glances among one another before dispatching from the scene. Nessa waited until the bodies filed out of proximity before stepping closer to the fallen male. She clicked her tongue.</p><p>“So I heard from Sonia about your breakup with that last girl…I get that that’s got to be rough but, Raihan, you know how important this shoot is to me. I hate to sound like a spoilt child, but you promised it wouldn't get in the way of this.” She nearly whined the last part of her sentence. Raihan, after hearing her disappointment, began sitting up, rubbing the back of his head. The bump forming there would be a reminder that he really needed to stay focused.</p><p>“You’re right, you’re right. But just to be clear, I'm actually not thinking about that.” She raised a neat brow, doubtful. She checked her reflection in a nearby vanity, before responding.</p><p>“Well, regardless. I need you to actually be <i>here</i>, hun. Come, let’s get you dressed for the next shoot. We’ve already keep my photographers waiting for too long.”</p><p>She leaned down, hand stuck out for him to take. Despite her stature being far smaller than his, Nessa had some pretty good strength in her core. When he first met the upcoming model, and now friend, this fact surprised him. He took it, hoisting himself off of the ground, brushing himself off. They made their way towards the rest of the group in the following room.</p><p>Raihan was good at following instructions. Wear this, take this off, stand here, move your hand up, tilt your head. Smile. Now, act like you don't care. Not to mention,</p><p>“You're too damn attractive.” She told him on one of his early encounters with her. Well, this wasn’t the first time hearing this from an equally attractive woman but</p><p>“Aha…what?” Raihan was caught off guard. During that time, he knew less about Nessa than he did now, but he knew a few things about her. “Wait...I thought you were—”</p><p>She shook her head, cutting his sentence short. She gave him a once over before twirling her hand to get her point across. </p><p>“I mean, you know. I suppose a better word would be <i>photogenic</i>. Have you ever considered joining an agency?” She inquired, hand on hip. At the time, he hadn't really considered it, seeing as the modern era made it easy for any attractive person with a camera to become “models” in the comfort of their home or some photogenic and hip café or something. But it didn't always pay and sometimes people would comment unnecessarily on social media.</p><p>An assumption about Raihan was that he was vain. Some people would comment things accusing him of being an attention seeker or that he was fishing for compliments. But really, he just enjoyed posting things he liked, whether it was something he was consuming or something he was doing. </p><p>It would be about 6 months later that he would take her up on the offer. And unsurprisingly, he was a natural. </p><p>Some of the staff have commented that he and Nessa looked compatible, to which they would laugh. Sure, on the outside they did, but in reality, they sat comfortably as co-workers, friend and occasional drinking buddies. At times, Nessa felt like a better wingman than some of the other guys he knew. And the girl, not only being physically tough, she could also drink a man under the table. He on the other hand, well…not so much.</p><p>Nessa clapped her hands loudly, “Great work everyone. Should be about a week for our editing team to do the finishing touches and then we'll be out on shelves.” She stretched her thin arms up, feeling the tension in her shoulders finally releasing. “You know, for a second I thought you were trying to skive off work.” She turned towards Raihan, who zipped up his hoodie. He made a mock defensive face.</p><p>“Blimey, I would <i>never</i>!” she rolled her clear blue eyes. Both grabbed their bags and made for the exit. Unlike yesterday, the sun shone bright and unwavering, encasing them like a heated blanket. Nessa fanned herself, more out of fatigue than the heat.</p><p>“Wanna head to an off-licence before catching the train?” Raihan raised an eyebrow, chuckling at her proposal. They continued to the subway station through the crowd of people gathering for the lunch hour.</p><p>“You aren't joining us tonight? Sonia mentioned a little hole in the wall she found.” Nessa blinked, appearing that she had forgotten. </p><p>“Oh that's right, huh. She did mention some pub she happened upon. Alright then.” </p><p>It took them less than 10 minutes to reach the station. Each refilled their cards and waved each other off when they reached the point where they need to go their separate ways. They all decided 6:30 pm would be an appropriate time for everyone to get off of work, rest up a bit and meet up for drinks. It had been a moment or two since the last time all four of them hung out at once. Maybe a few drinks would make him forget the failure of losing a phone number. This was a first for him.</p><p>x x x</p><p>It was a little past 6 and the sun had started to retire, the shadows following behind him in long strokes. He walked hands in pockets as he made his way back to the subway station. By now the city had calmed a bit, and really the only residents out and about were the ones exhausted and coming home from their poor paying jobs. Give it a few hours and the life would come back to them.</p><p>The place Sonia mentioned was somewhere near the Spikemuth area, he was told out about an hour ago.</p><p><i>Spikemuth</i>. It sounded familiar, and he wondered if he had been there before. </p><p>Not knowing what kind of place it would be, he went with the safest route as far as attire went: smart casual. A plain black blazer jacket, simple white tee and straight leg jeans. Nothing over the top tonight. He was there to meet up with some friends but still didn't want to look like a slob. He knew he'd take a few pics before the end of the night at the most.</p><p>He boarded without issue and the ride took no more than 20 minutes. When he got out of the train and made his way upstairs, he was greeted by a booming,</p><p>“Raihan! You made it!” he blinked, smile forming as Sonia approached him with a bear hug. He looked between the three, surprised that he was last to arrive. Even Leon, who was terrible at directions, made it before him. </p><p>“Looks like the gang's all here.” He shrugged, looking around the area. Nothing came to him yet but the area had a nice vibe to it. It felt like it was engulfed, somehow, but the neon lights gave a sort of direction to the aesthetic. </p><p>The further they walked, the more entranced he was. Music boomed throughout the area, the bass almost tangible the way it washed the streets in muffled sound. You could almost feel the vibrations on the ground. This place was very different than his pristine neighborhood, the opposite in fact. Even Leon, someone who had an air of royalty about him, lived more humbly than he did. He almost felt out of place here, but still, he wanted to appreciate the grungy look that Spikemuth offered. Even if someone like him wasn’t welcomed. Eventually, they reached the small dive bar. </p><p>From the outside, it didn't look like much what with the worn, tagged walls and spent boxes hanging around the front. Had he not been told it was a bar, he wouldn't have guessed. And somehow, going inside had much less light than the outside. But the purple and pink neon lights embellishing the walls gave a certain type of ambience to the place, making up for the outdated building. </p><p>They managed to snag a small, wobbly table off to the side near what appeared to be a makeshift stage. Perhaps for comedians or something, who knows. Sonia and Nessa didn't hesitate, rushing towards the counter and surprising the bartender. Luckily there wasn't anyone else in line. </p><p>Seeing as though they wanted to keep the table, both men stayed behind, waiting patiently for the other 2 enthusiastic women. Raihan took the opportunity to whip out his phone, snapping a few photos in the meantime. Leon chuckled, sitting back in his seat. </p><p>“Look at you. You seem to be doing alright, mate! Thought you’d be gutted with this last girl.” Raihan swiped through the photos he took, trying to choose one to post. He smirked, still looking at his phone.</p><p>“I'm actually terribly heartbroken. As you can see, I've ended up in a place like this with you lot, so my emotional state isn't doing so well, actually.” He responded sarcastically. Leon gave a hearty laugh, scaring the guy on the next table over.</p><p>“I’m glad your sense of humor hasn’t gone. How have you been?” Raihan finally choose a photo, posting it quickly and sliding his device back into his pants pocket. He shrugged, smile still intake.</p><p>“Well, to be honest, this week’s been really long. And to think it's only Thursday. I don't know, I’ll get over it.” His friend nodded to the response, unsure if he believed it. His smile was beaming none the less, and before he could press Raihan anymore both young women returned, two cocktails each. </p><p>“How considerate!” Leon leaned across the table, reaching for a drink. Sonia took a step back, shaking her head, her long earrings moving with the motion. </p><p>“Sorry love, these are mine. You've got legs, go on now, you can order.” She placed her drinks down, taking a seat. Nessa followed suit, sitting next to the redhead. She impatiently took a sip while the others talked.</p><p>“You couldn't’ve bring your old pal a bevvy? I'm hurt.” he joked, standing up to make his way to the counter. Raihan stood up as well, unsure of what he was in the mood for. For sure he wouldn't do an IPA. </p><p>Both men walked to the counter, Leon settled with something simple, a gin and tonic and Raihan went with good old reliable, a pint. He still wanted to make it home intact so he didn't want to overdo it. A lager did sound pretty good right now. </p><p>Eventually, several drinks in and the group started losing it, not out of hand but it was obvious they weren't sober anymore. Not one to be beaten, Raihan made the mistake of challenging Leon at how many beers they could hold. Raihan of course was no match. </p><p>“Now <i>that's</i> a proper pint, mate!” the shorter male pointing out, proud of his friend. This was the part where Raihan regretted it more and more. He could feel his stomach doing the little bubblies, churning at the fact that he hadn't a full stomach and instead filled it with hoppy juice. He chugged out of the glass like a champ, slamming it onto the worn out table. Both Sonia and Nessa clapped, a little too smiley. </p><p>“Thisss place…this place is quaint. We should definitely come back, not to mention it's cheeeap.” Nessa giggled into the rim of her glass, the whisky and coke watered down from the ice. She shook her head at Sonia’s slurring.</p><p>“I don't think ‘quaint' is the right word, hun.” </p><p>His neck felt uncomfortably warm, so Raihan excused himself to the restroom. Luckily, it was lit better than the rest of the bar. He removed his blazer and splashed water on his face, trying not to succumb to being shit-faced. He thought that a few drinks would help clear his head, but the unfortunate thing about getting drunk sometimes was that occasionally you hyper fixate on one or two things and right now he wished he had someone to go back home to and wondered when he’d get the chance to see Piers again. </p><p>He didn't do one night stands, even if it was tempting to the human part of himself, so that was out of the question. And as far as Piers went, at least he could rest assure that the guy was at least in the same country. The pain on the back of his head was starting to come back so he knew he wasn't completely gone. He gave himself a once over in the mirror before exiting. When he came back to the group, he noticed another body standing nearby. Perhaps something had heard his pleas.</p><p>“Piers?” Maybe he was really drunk and didn't realise it. This could be the doings of his imagination for all he knew. But said person made a face like Raihan was crazy. </p><p>“Well fuck me, what’re you doin' here?” Piers looked at him with disbelief. His whole ponytail(s?) bounced when he turned to fully face the taller male. He wasn’t dressed up, a simple black oversized sweater and loose sweatpants. The only flashy thing was a shiny metal collar. For some reason the warmth in Raihan's neck was slowly creeping up again. </p><p>“I-I could ask you the same. What are <i>you</i> doing here?” Piers raised a styled brow at the returned question, confused. He glanced around the room before answering.</p><p>“Well, firstly, this 's my local pub. So there’s that. And secondly, 'm tryin' to look for someone.” </p><p>“I haven't seen the bloke, but why don't you join us right now for at least one drink? How's miss Marnie?” Leon chimed in, glass in hand. Piers touched the ring of his collar, shaking his head.</p><p>“Can't. I jus' wanna pick him up and head back.” Leon nodded slowly, his smile wavering just a tad. Raihan looked between the two, suddenly feeling out of the loop. He hadn’t realised the two knew each other. The bar had quieted down a little, save for a few drunks singing in the corner and the clinking of glasses as the bartender set the washed ones out to dry. Raihan opened his mouth to ask about who his old acquaintance was looking for until the answer fell onto his lap.</p><p>“Friends of yours?” a man slightly shorter than Raihan approached, walking up to Piers. He gave a half smile to the group, raising the beer bottle he was holding. The others smiled back, with the exception of Raihan and Piers, who looked a little miffed. The guy wasn’t anything special to look at; he had an average build with an average face. But something was off. The fresh cut on his temple and the stench of day old booze gave Raihan the impression that this <i>wasn’t</i> an average guy. </p><p>“Sure. Let’s go now.” Piers answered flatly, beckoning his head towards the exit, “Guess I’ll be seein' you.” He half waved to the group. </p><p>Raihan opened his mouth but the words didn't come out. What had he wanted to ask again? He couldn't remember. The back of his skull stung, his head felt fuzzy and he couldn't help but feel something unpleasant in the pit of his stomach. All he could do was watch the sway of black and platinum hair and the hand that snaked it's way around that thin waist.</p><p>
  <i>Ah.</i>
</p><p>It was starting to come back to him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>✅Predictable drama </p><p>I'm sorry, I had to. ww<br/>I'll adjust tags accordingly</p><p>Thanks to the people who were entertained last ch. That really encouraged me 🙏</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. If you're wrong, that makes two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had just enough time before work *big sigh*</p><p>Mostly just 'past thinking' really</p><p>This is very short 😔</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raihan went home that night feeling all sorts of things—a reminder on why he didn't drink often in the first place (but still ended up doing so)—firstly, he was horny, or maybe he was just really lonely. Secondly, he felt ill, which was fair considering he still felt like shit being dumped and that he didn't eat. This was all followed by confusion, frustration and grief. Oh and a pinch of disappointment. So when he managed to get home, a stumbling mess, he whipped out the old fleshlight, jacked off, threw up and felt sorry for himself. </p><p>The thought of 'what would my followers think, if they saw me like this’, made it's way morbidly into his head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>“Ehh, what a bad vibe.” Nessa commented, staring at the door. Sonia shook her head, her expression disgusted.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You thought so too, huh? I don't like guys like that.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Raihan, snapping back into reality, realised he had still been standing so he decided to finally rejoin the table. Leon sighed, looking somehow disappointed. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Who…who was he?” Raihan asked, almost not wanting the obvious confirmed. Leon stared at his empty glass, hesitating before actually confirming Raihan’s suspicions. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“That, well…that's his on-again-off-again boyfriend. They've been going at for awhile. But that's all I'm going to say.” </i>
</p><p> </p><p>Admittedly, he wanted to pry more info out of his friend. So many questions ran through his head:</p><p>Why do you look disappointed?<br/>
How do you know Piers?<br/>
When did this happen?</p><p> </p><p>Why didn't you tell me sooner?</p><p>That last one was more out of selfishness and really, he had no right to ask such a thing. But he felt like a grade schooler, a little jealous that someone knew something he didn't.</p><p>Before falling asleep last night, he recalled something that he had forgotten about. And he almost didn't want to believe it himself. A part of him wanted to say he was lucid dreaming or something, that he just had a colorful imagination but this wasn't some shit he could come up with:</p><p>When he was 15 years old, Piers was his first love. </p><p>Before all the likes on his social media, before all the beautiful women he dated, before all the compliments and assumptions about him, he was an awkward kid who liked his awkward friend. Something he actually forgot about until now.</p><p> </p><p>x x x</p><p> </p><p>Because he was a late bloomer, Raihan wasn’t initially Mr. Popular, a ‘lady killer' or any of that in secondary school. He was pretty average actually. He had friends and he was athletic but nothing about him was particularly <i>special</i>. He at least didn't get bullied. Although, that couldn't be said for some of his other classmates. Piers being one of them. </p><p>Piers was quiet and, like him, didn't stand out much either but some kids found him to be weird because he didn't even <i>try</i> to make a good impression. Raihan on the other hand was the opposite, he did. He wanted to be liked and took people's criticisms to heart. And since he adjusted accordingly to the crowd, he was left be.</p><p>But quietness didn't mean helplessness, Raihan learned back then. His classmate wasn’t one to just 'take it’. Provoked and Piers was sure to say a thing or two. Even if he couldn’t <i>physically</i> win, he spat like an angry spider, his words spiteful and laced with venom. Raihan admired that, and eventually he befriended that 'weird kid' after a particularly bad beating. Piers was apprehensive at first, rightfully so since Raihan sort of just barged in, but seeing as he didn't pose a threat, he didn't bother pushing him away. Even if neither had anything interesting to offer or even had anything in common, they somehow made their odd friendship work. For at least a year, it was a comfortable relationship where neither party had to try so hard to impress the other. </p><p>When he turned 15, something in him shifted though. What started as mere admiration for the back bone Piers had that he didn’t, eventually turned into infatuation. And it hit him like an anvil from an old timey cartoon on an uneventful day after school. He had stared for too long, in retrospect, watching the way Piers watched the rain fall outside from inside the dry bus. It was still light out, and the reflection of the droplets falling created streaks on his face, light shadows that traced his beautiful features. </p><p>
  <i>Beautiful?</i>
</p><p>
 Well, that wasn't a word one would describe a friend. ‘oops’ Raihan remembers thinking to himself. And for awhile, he thought this revelation was one-sided, since Piers hardly showed interest in anything else other than writing in the old composition book he carried everywhere.
</p><p>
 Eventually he learned that that wasn’t the case though.
</p><p>
 Raihan would start to notice it. The way his friend would avoid eye contact, the way he would create more space between them, some of the things he wrote…felt really specific.
</p><p>
“Do you…would you be interested in going out? I mean, with me, of course.” He wanted to sound more confident, but the knocking at his chest was pushing the air out of him, making it hard to breath. He remembers the red violating his friend’s face, painting his fair skin in shades of pink. Raihan was afraid of the rejection but took his shot anyway. That day was pretty uneventful too.
</p><p>
Piers closed his composition book, fiddling with the worn out corners of the cover as he thought to himself. They were sitting outside on the grass away from their classmates during their lunch hour. He crouched down to sit in front of the pensive boy, being careful not to bump knees and trying to read his face. It was like he was trying to find the right thing to say. Ah, he’d get rejected huh, Raihan assumed. But after a few minutes, he recalled the way the other stuck his pencil behind his ear, sat on his own knees and leaned forward. It was a daring move, almost challenging. It was the first time Raihan had ever been kissed. Now it was his turn to feel that violating red creep onto his neck and face.
</p><p>
 “Alright, okay…” he nodded slowly. Piers laughed at him, from what he remembered.
</p><p>
 x x x
</p><p>
 But what happened next? He racked through his brain trying to piece together a perfect ending. But they didn't actually have a good end, huh? From that thought to the next, Raihan remembers how Piers left without a word. He didn’t know the specifics, just that he didn't hear from him ever again, until now that is.
</p><p>
Raihan woke up feeling shittier than he had felt the last few days, and it wasn't because of his pounding hangover.
</p><p>
He sat in bed for awhile, staring at his ceiling. His hair stuck uncomfortably on his cheekbone and his nose was stuffy for some reason. Was he sad? Was he angry? In the end, they lived separate lives for the past 6 years, not thinking about one another and they just <i>happened</i> to run into each other again. The unrealistic part of himself wanted to think it was for some reason but it didn't actually mean anything for them. Really, he should just write it off as puppy love.
</p><p>
So what if Leon knew him? So what if he was in a complicated relationship? So what if they hadn’t spoken?
</p><p>
He wasn’t any better. But then why did he feel like he actually cared? That he was a little jealous, that maybe he  never did get over it? Maybe he did still love—
</p><p>
“No.” Raihan rubbed his face, forcing himself out of bed, refusing to go down that road. He was beginning to overcomplicate this situation. It was hardly a situation.
</p><p>
 He had two options, he concluded as he brushed his teeth roughly. Either he forget about Piers on a personal level and only say hi when they run into each other every once in a blue moon or he actually reignite their friendship and keep it at that. He humored his thoughts by weighing the options in his head.
</p><p>
x x x
</p><p>
In the end, he found himself at Leon’s door, knocking tentatively. He stared at the gaudy 'welcome’ doormat that laid where his feet were as he waited. He wondered if should’ve just call him instead.
</p><p>
As he thought before, Leon's neighborhood was a lot more humble than his. Just him standing there for a few minutes, he already received at least four good mornings from strangers. That was unheard of in his area. Raihan waited, hands in pocket for another minute before calling it.
</p><p>
 <i>‘This was a dumb idea’</i> he thought to himself, turning to leave. He heard the door behind him open.
</p><p>
“Raihan?” his friend called out to him. Raihan turned around making his way back to the front door. “Sorry 'bout the wait, mate. I was on the phone with my mum.” Leon apologised. He eyed the taller for a second before continuing, “everything alright?”
</p><p>
Raihan scratched the back of his neck, smiling a little sheepishly. “Uh, yeah, yeah! I’m fine. Actually I came by to ask you something. Well, more like a favor.”
</p><p>
 “Of course, what did you need?”
</p><p>
The taller male shoved his hands in his pockets again, glancing at an older gentleman walking by. “Piers. Uh, do you happen to have Piers’ number? I had it and I sorta lost it.” Leon blinked.
</p><p>
“He gave you his number? Huh…actually I'm surprised you two know each other. And sorry, I actually don't.” Raihan raised a brow.
</p><p>
 “Is that weird? ‘cause I actually knew him when we were lads. Before I met you lot.” Leon nodded slowly to this. He stepped to the side, making his door more accessible.
</p><p>
“I meant nothing bad by that, actually I'll explain. Care for a cuppa?”
</p><p>
Raihan entered curiously, careful not to bump his head on the doorframe. He took a seat at the tea table that was in his friend’s dining room. Leon went to ready the old kettle he got from his mother. After he got it set up, he made his way to take a seat at the table as well. Raihan waited patiently for him to begin.
</p><p>
“You see, what I meant by my surprise was that he gave you his number in the first place. I actually didn't know that bit about you knowing him, but I suppose that makes sense then. You being an old friend and all. Unfortunately though, he changes his number often."
</p><p>
“Does he?” Leon nodded, his gold eyes a little serious.
</p><p>
 “His younger sister is friends with my brother. That's actually how I met him. But to be honest, I don't know much about him outside of that and the obvious. You remember that bloke we saw last night? Stay clear of him. He’s got a temper and makes way too many assumptions.” Raihan was skeptical about his friend's warning, furrowing his brow. He sat back in his seat, arms crossed.
</p><p>
 “I feel like I don't know the bigger picture here.”
</p><p>
“I'm sorry. It's not my place to share his business freely.” Leon sat still for a second, scratching at his trimmed beard. Thinking. He huffed, standing to get the water. “You know, if you really want to contact him, your best bet is through his sister. If you'd like…you can come with me to my mum's? I believe Hop is gonna have his little friends over.”
</p><p>
Raihan felt a little too excited, having to calm the relief in his chest. Regardless of how it turned out the last time, did he really want to end that chapter of his life like this? He had his heart set on at least becoming friends again. He told himself that he wouldn't let his personal feelings get in the way and mess this up.
</p><p>At least, he told himself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm actually really looking forward to making a Raihan and Marnie interaction. Actually, I hope to have a few of those here</p><p>Thank you for reading, as always</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Stranger than circles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I actually finished this a few days ago but I'm very anal about double checking my work. Not to mention I'm busy even with this pandemic stuff.</p><p>English is actually not my first language so thank you for the patience 🙇🏻♂️  (I don't think I've mentioned this) </p><p>Anyway, I hope this is well. I wanna do the next chapter a bit longer</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He knew it was a bad idea when even someone of his height felt small under their scrutinizing eyes. But one in particular stood out among the 3; a small female with dark black hair, pigtails and a small patch on the opposite of her bangs shaved. She eyed him like she was trying to kill him by looks alone and honestly, it scared him. Her eyes felt very familiar though, the clear green-blue glaring at him like beautiful icy daggers. It was actually a little unsettling the way it made him feel nostalgic. Raihan chuckled nervously, idly touching the knickknacks that were on top of a shelf to his right. When she stood up from her little circle of friends, he somehow felt even smaller. The teenager took a few cautious steps towards him, the metal accents of her black leather jacket clicking with the motion. Where all teenagers this scary?</p><p>“How do you know my name?” she asked, crossing her arms. She didn't necessarily appear “angry” but she came off like he had offended her. He only asked which of the two girls was “Marnie” and that he wanted to speak to said child ‘privately’—ah, that's right, <i>stranger danger</i>.</p><p>He mentally slapped himself, it dawning on him that he may have been acting too familiar. He had forgotten to adhere to his friend's warning that the girl was the distrustful type and to speak carefully around her as she was someone who took a little time opening up to strangers. Even Hop, someone who Raihan already knew, looked as though he didn't approve of his blunt approach. </p><p>“Ah, well, I’m a friend of Piers. Uh, your brother.” He mentally slapped himself again at how nervous he felt like he sounded. Marnie raised a half brow,</p><p>“Yes…Piers <i>is</i> my brother. What've it?” she asked. But before he could try and muster some response, she excused herself from the group, motioning her head towards the doorway he stood at. “how ‘bout we discuss this outside?” </p><p> </p><p>Leon's mother's front yard was spacious, so it was naturally the best place to speak out of earshot. They made their way to the side of the home in front of what looked like an oversized aged-wooden shed. Raihan stopped himself from speaking first, allowing for the young girl to continue,</p><p>“So? You a ‘friend’?” Marnie asked, her expression now more vague than a moment ago. Her eyes though, were still cautious.</p><p>Raihan nodded, hands in hoodie pocket, fiddling with a loose thread inside. He wondered if he came off as threatening or scarier than he actually was. It was probably because he was a literal fucking tower. “I am, yeah. Well, more specifically, an <i>old</i> friend.” She nodded slowly, looking at him like he was not from this planet. She began tugging at her sleeves.</p><p>“Really? You don't…seem like the type.” He raised a brow. “Anyway, I don't think he’s meetin' with anyone at this time though.” She avoided eye contact as she said this. It in itself raised a red flag but he wanted to do this right, so he held back the urge to ask a million questions. </p><p>“Uh…y'see, I had his contact but I lost it. I'm just trying to get ahold of him. Just to catch up, that's why I'm asking you. I mean, you can come along whenever if you'd like too, y’know.” He tried to reassure her. He didn't have a sibling but he assumed there’d be a protectiveness factor in play when a stranger approaches you about your brother or sister or something.</p><p>A few passerbys waved at the two as their group made their way down the dirt road outside of the stone fence that surrounded the home. Raihan flashed a friendly smile to the group and took note of the way some of them whispered to each other happily. Probably a follower or two in there. This didn't go unnoticed by Marnie, who gave him another once over, like she was actually trying to <i>see</i> him. An imaginary light bulb went off somewhere.</p><p>“Ah. I knew your face looked familiar. You’re that wannabe model guy huh? I kept seeing you trending online so I blacklisted your name. What was it again?” she asked nonchalantly, her shoulders visibly relaxing. Raihan felt like he had been punched, patted on the head and then punched again. This definitely surpassed the rest of  the meanest comments he's received online. </p><p>“The names Raihan.” He put his hand out awkwardly. Were they supposed to shake hands? He wasn't sure how to talk to a kid. She didn't take it, instead grabbing her phone and doing something quickly before pocketing it and crossing her arms again. </p><p>“Look my brother’s got a lotta 'friends', I don't care who you think you are but as far as I know, he ain’t seein’ you lot anymore. So…sorry, but I can't help you.” She stood firmly. A part of him was morbidly curious about these friends of Piers but tried not thinking too into it as it wasn't his business. He sighed exaggeratedly in defeat, throwing his hands behind his head. Maybe he had to change his approach.</p><p>“Huuuh, I’m first insulted and now I can't even explain myself. Huuuh, when I first met you—when you were like this big—I didn't think you’d be so hurtful. Huuuh…how ever will I be reunited with my old classmate?” she raised a brow when he finished sighing.</p><p>“His classmate? Have we met before?” he was glad he managed to peek her interest </p><p>“Aye. Met you two 'bout six or seven years ago. Ran into your brother again and like I said, had his number but I unfortunately lost it.” He stood up straight, smiling down at her. Marnie appeared to be mulling something over in her head. She was really his last hope lest he rely on chance again but who knew how long that’d take, if it even ever did happen again. Still, he didn't want to come off as a sketchy guy nor did he want to pressure her. He sighed once more, this time normally, “if anything, can I give you my number and if you ever change your mind…?” </p><p>She gave it some thought and just when he thought she'd reject his request, she pulled out her phone from her pocket and handed it to him. He didn't really care if he looked too excited. The point was, it was a step in the right direction. Raihan gladly typed his number into her contacts, adding a few emojis to make it stand out. Admittedly, he had to resist the urge to tap on the 'Bro' contact he noticed. No, he didn't want to lose the teenager’s trust when he barely even had it to begin with. He handed her back her phone. She made a face at the gaudy text. </p><p>Marnie slipped it back into her pocket, giving a sort of affirmation with a nod. A sudden breeze caused both of them to shiver, beckoning the end of this interaction. Before parting ways, Raihan called out to her. He scratched beneath his orange half-beanie, smiling.</p><p>“Uh, just so you know, I’m not weird. I promise.” Her expression was blank but he liked to believe she at least half believed him. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>It was about a week and a half before he heard anything, although he had been busy the entire time so it almost went over his head how much time passed. He was in the middle of a photoshoot for another one of Nessa's projects when he received a call from an unknown number. He was going to ignore it but the buzzing against the table it sat on was somehow louder than the clicking of industrial cameras and the chit chatter of the staff on set. So he answered it.</p><p>“Raihan speaking” there was a pause before he heard a response on the other end.</p><p>“Hey. It's Marnie. Um, would you be able to meet up with me later today?” Raihan nearly dropped his phone, not really expecting her to contact him anytime soon. Thank whatever higher power.</p><p>“Yeah, sure! Where’d you wanna—”</p><p>“I'll text ya. Alright, gotta go.” She hung up just as quickly as her call came in. He almost felt concerned but wrote it off as her maybe not being the social type. </p><p>Nessa came walking up to him, saying something as she approached, but paused when she reached him. She made a face, “What's up with that expression? Got another date?” she teased.</p><p>The taller body turned to her with a wide, toothy smile. He shook his head, placing his phone back onto the table it originally sat on. He gave his neck a quick crack, now in a much better mood than he’d been in for a bit. “Nah, nothing like that. Just some good news’ 's all. Anyway, sorry 'bout that, let's get back to work.” Her blue eyes scanned him, trying to get a reading of some sort but eventually she just nodded, sure she’d eventual be told. </p><p>“Righto.” </p><p> </p><p>x x x</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes he wished he had a car. </p><p>Because the weather was way too unpredictable at times. Sure, if he was sad this would be the perfect thing for dramatic effect, the rain. But right now he was in a good mood and the way the sky was weeping was more of an inconvenience than anything. One would think that he'd have a means of transportation by now, but having to deal with street parking would be an even bigger inconvenience than a little rain or crowded trains. So he never did that investment.</p><p>Raihan kept glancing at his lock screen, a little concerned that he’d be running a bit late thanks to a little delay in the train departure. At most, he’d be 15 minutes late. He just hoped that she’d be willing to wait around. He had agreed to meet the teenager near her hometown, a little out of his way but he was the adult here and wasn't going to make a kid travel far at this time. </p><p>Raihan stared out the window, admiring the view. It almost didn't make sense the way the reds and oranges mixed into the damp sky, but either way, Raihan thought it was beautiful. Come to think of it, some of the best things to happen to him happened when it was raining and that in itself didn't make sense either, mostly thanks to the bad rep that rain has. But he actually enjoyed this type of weather, regardless of the inconveniences. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of what he saw. He posted it with a simple thumbs up emoji. </p><p>As he arrived at the station, and walked a bit a ways, Raihan had a serious déjà vu moment. </p><p>“You’re here.” The young girl stated rather than asked rhetorically. Marnie walked towards him, giving a small wave of her free hand, the other holding onto a worn out plain black umbrella. Raihan gave a wave back.</p><p>“Please tell me you didn't summon me here for bad news.” He joked. She shook her head, leading him towards the little convenience store that she was standing in front of a moment ago. It did very little to cover him completely out of the rain but he appreciated it all the same. Marnie spoke first. </p><p>“Y’know, I thought I recognised you from online, and I did but, that's not where I 'riginally saw your face.” He raised a brow, his smile a little nervous. She sighed, pulling out here phone from her dark grey hoodie. She fiddle with it briefly then handed the device to him. He took it slowly, his eyes widening at the image. </p><p>It was a picture of a picture, one that she took of a few days ago. But the picture in the picture was one that was taken six years ago. It was one of him and a younger Piers holding up a purposefully bad drawing of Raihan. Surprisingly, the old polaroid was in near mint condition which lead him to believe that it was kept put away, away from the elements. There were a few things that went through his head but all he could do was open and close his mouth. Even he didn't have a single thing from that time other than the memories and feelings it left in him. Marnie shifted around a bit, tugging at her sleeves. </p><p>“My brother isn't really…the <i>sentimental</i> type.” She began, taking back her phone when Raihan handed it to her, “he doesn't hold onto or care about things ‘less they hold value to him, to some degree. The fact that he keeps this in the only drawer we have in the house speaks for itself.” She typed something up on her device, and a split second later, he felt the sure vibration of a received message in his pocket. “I sent you his number. But I gotta tell you somethin’ important.” He nodded slowly.</p><p>Raihan felt like he was on a rollercoaster and just experienced the first major drop. Right now, he felt the relief of that fall, readying himself for the future drops, twists and turns. When he got home, he couldn't help but feel a little bit of a lot of things. Sure, he was glad he was finally able to get the number, even if it was like two weeks later. But that relief and gladness was followed by a string of weary feelings. He sat on his couch, no drink in hand, and dry and stared at the contact now in his phone. It felt like he came full circle. </p><p>He noted that the time was still in the clear for him to call, based on what Marnie told him,</p><p><i>“The best times to call him would be anytime between 11am-3pm and after 8pm on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Never call on Saturdays. These times may all change but I’ll let you know, of course.”</i> </p><p>He didn't like the dread settling in his stomach with this information but there was nothing that he could do about something that was set into motion way before him coming back into the picture. Raihan mentally counted to 10 before hitting the little call icon. It rang, which was a good thing. Someone picked up,</p><p>“Hello?” it was Piers, luckily. Raihan leaned back into his sofa, getting more comfortable. He smiled to no one in particular. </p><p>“Hey stranger” </p><p>“Hm. I was beginning to think you'd never call.” </p><p>Raihan hated the way his heart misstepped hearing his voice.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Like I said previously, I wanna write more Raihan and Marnie interactions.</p><p>If it hasn't started to become clear, be mindful of the 'abusive relationship' tag. I want to talk about unpleasant things going forward, but I know it's not for everyone</p><p>Thanks as always for reading this!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Let me be the f-word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I meant to post this earlier but I had to keep an eye out for the 「Pokemon Trainers」merch that got released. Now that I ordered my kbnz stuff, I can finally 😴</p>
<p>I did this ch longer like I wanted to (yay)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>More than any whisper, more than any moan, </p>
<p>Did it get his heart racing.</p>
<p>Piers’ voice was sultry and had the faintest rasp, like juniper leaves rustling together in a spring breeze. With every sentence and every minute of their conversation, Raihan felt himself grow more and more greedy. Without realising it, his desire to take that voice and store it away in a cassette, for it to be played over and over again, grew. He hadn't noticed how pleasant it sounded, rough speech and all, the last two times they spoke. The first he was, admittedly, distracted by the way his friend filled his own body, his expression—makeup, style and all and of course, his <i>hair</i>. And, well, the second time was completely on him and some shitty lager.</p>
<p>They didn't talk for very long, about an hour and nothing terribly important. For one, hobbies. Raihan learned that Piers enjoyed singing. </p>
<p>This added a whole new element to his voice that Raihan didn't allow his brain to wander towards… </p>
<p>They also talked a little about his sister. Piers was surprisingly enthusiastic to talk about this; he learned just how proud of an older brother Piers was. It was actually kind of cute. It was these little things that tickled Raihan's heart. </p>
<p>The one thing that they didn't talk about though, was them. Or rather what they used to be. And he wasn't going to lie: he actually kind of hoped that it would’ve come up at some point. But maybe that was for the better. Raihan had already come to the conclusion that he'd try to rebuild his friendship with Piers, so really he should just leave it at that. </p>
<p>“Hey, it's gettin' late, mate. Why don't we call it a night.” He could hear the way Piers' voice elongated an octave with the motion of his stretching. Raihan swallowed the knot in his throat.</p>
<p>“When can I see you again?” fuck. He…he wasn't supposed to say that aloud. He meant to ask more casually like ‘Wanna grab a pint tomorrow’ or something. Raihan stood up quickly, pacing around his living room, feeling embarrassed and he could only hope that Piers wouldn't be weirded out.</p>
<p>“Well, uh…got err'nds to run tomorrow. Wanna tag along? I mean, we can have a proper chin-wag.” Piers offered. Raihan paused his pacing, hoping that his heart wasn’t actually getting excited for grocery shopping with an old friend or something. That would be a new kind of low. He shooed the thought away quickly. </p>
<p>“Yeah, sounds good. What time?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For someone who looked so put together, Raihan got ready fairly quickly. One would think that he planned his outfits for the week, the way he was always dressed so coordinated. In actuality, he didn't even think too hard on 'coordination’ and simply wore whatever felt right at that moment, not realising he was setting trends. </p>
<p>But right now, he was mulling over his options, for once <i>looking</i> at his closet. It was like he was a teenager again and getting ready for prom or something. Suddenly everything he owned looked like garbage bags and used cardboard. </p>
<p>The worst part of this scenario was the fact that he literally was going to run errands with a friend and that was all, and really, he could get away with wearing a damn t-shirt and sweatpants. But for whatever reason, he felt self-conscious about going out like that today. Even though he’s done so a million times in the past. It wasn't necessarily a matter of <i>impressing</i> anyone…</p>
<p>Okay, maybe just a little. But in his own defense, he actually just wanted to leave a good first (not including the other two times) impression.</p>
<p>“Fuck it.” Raihan settled with something casual. Didn't want to come off like he was <i>trying</i> to hard. </p>
<p>Joggers, depending on what you paired them with were good articles of clothing that are comfortable without looking trashy. This is what he settled with in the end, along with a light grey crew neck tee, navy windbreaker, black canvas shoes and one of his nice watches. Raihan gave himself one last once over, still unsatisfied, before heading out of his apartment hastily. The autumn air stung his ears and he realised he made a good call with wearing a windbreaker. </p>
<p>The destination wasn't far this time, in his own city in fact. So he managed the 20 minute travel on foot, walking briskly thru the uncannily non busy streets. It was 9:30 in the morning on a Wednesday, so whoever needed to be in school or at work was already there and the remaining bodies were either early bird tourists or locals. He agreed to meet Piers at the post office first. </p>
<p>Another violent breeze hit Raihan across the face, forcing him to slouch further into himself, buying his hands deeper into his coat pockets. It appeared that they were getting an early winter this year, even though it was still barely September. He picked up his pace, nearly jogging the majority of the way just to get out of the cold. Even though he was slouching so far down that he could really only see his own feet, he knew he was at the right place when a familiar figure came to view.</p>
<p>Raihan wanted to laugh. If he thought he was cold, Piers looked like he was straight up <i>freezing</i> to death. Worst of all, the guy was in more layers than himself but looked absolutely miserable even in his black hooded faux fur lined coat. His long hair was down, shoved into the coat itself and covering his ears and parts of his thin neck like a makeshift scarf and earmuffs. It also looked slightly damp which Raihan assumed he probably showered no more than an hour ago, which was probably a bad idea on his friend's part. He approached with a loud, </p>
<p>“Morning! Don'cha looked chuffed, getting here before me. You wait long?” he smiled wide. Piers returned the greeting with a weak wave.</p>
<p>“Ain’t you just full of beans. Didn’t expect the bloody bus to get me here so early. Only been 'bout ten minutes. And, uh mornin'.” Piers hugged himself, giving the smallest smile. He pointed to the post office entrance. “real quick, yeah?”</p>
<p>They entered the small building. There were only three other bodies in line so it wasn't like they'd be there for long, which wouldn't have been a problem for Raihan either way. He walked over to section that sold envelopes and other miscellaneous parcel shipping products, looking at them with little interest while Piers waited in line to speak to someone. It wasn't even ten minutes before Piers was called and finished whatever transaction he needed to do. Raihan listened to the clicking of his short heeled shoes against the floor before turning around. Both exited, making their way to their next stop, which was literally as he predicted, a grocery store. </p>
<p>The cold air didn't look like it would subside anytime soon, causing the shorter male to whinge, hugging himself again. It was weirdly cute seeing a grown guy reduced to complaining like a kid. Raihan figured it would be better to travel via anything other than on foot with him. He stopped the other.</p>
<p>“Hey, why don’t we take the bus? Stop's right here and it’ll be faster.” He suggested, his smile not faltering. Piers nodded, looking a bit relieved.</p>
<p>“Brilliant.” As they waited, Raihan started the conversation with the obvious,</p>
<p>“Why'd you come all the way here for the post office? You guys don't have one in your town?” Piers shook his head</p>
<p>“We do, well <i>did</i>, but some tosser vandalised it. Been closed 'bout a month now. Figured since this's the easiest city for me to get to, might as well pay my bills here.” Raihan 'ooh'd at this.</p>
<p>The bus arrived fairly quickly and they boarded, finding seats in the back. He half expected Piers to sit on the seat in front of or behind him, but stiffened feeling his friend’s leg brush his as he took a seat next to him. Piers made a low sigh, relaxing into the seat. It was much warmer on the bus. Raihan needed to break the ice somehow, trying not to fixate on the thin leg lightly touching his and the smell of shampoo and faint smoke. </p>
<p>“Looks nice.” He began, making a weird motion of his hand in the air, he couldn't see Piers’ face with the side sweep of hair facing his side but he could imagine that the other would be confused so he elaborated, “you—I mean, your outfit looks nice today.” Piers sat up, turning to him. He didn't make any negative face just looked a little taken aback. Like receiving compliments was a foreign thing.</p>
<p>“Oh. Thanks.” He pointed a thin and painted finger towards the larger body, “but you look nicer, you actually look <i>awake</i>.” He teased. </p>
<p>“You don't do mornings, huh?” Piers made an affirmative hum, rubbing carefully under his eye trying to avoid smudging the grey-purple eyeshadow that rested on his lids. </p>
<p>“Nope, night’s more my thing. But if I have to, 'course I’ll do shit in the mornin'.” </p>
<p>The stop near the market was only a few stops away from the post office so they got there fairly quickly. They boarded off, Raihan thanking the driver before stepping out of the vehicle. Piers pulled out a list from his pocket which Raihan found amusing. He hadn't seen a <i>written</i> grocery list since he was a kid and would tag along with his mother. Raihan leaned over the shorter's shoulder, looking at the piece of paper. Ideally, he wanted to get used to the closer proximity so it would be a normal thing like with his other friends. He could feel Piers tense slightly.</p>
<p>“So what's on the list?” He asked. He could clearly see what was written but wanted to hear the other say them aloud.</p>
<p>“You’ve got eyes,” Piers began but paused, probably trying to rephrase the way he spoke, “Just gotta get some stuff for the house. Mostly stuff Marnie wants. Told ‘er I’d get 'em while she's in class.” </p>
<p>The automatic doors slide open, greeting them with the smell of fresh bread. The bakery connected to the store always made the place smell so good in the mornings. Since it was a lot warmer here, Piers pulled his hair out of his coat, letting it fall all the way to his tailbone. The two-toned strands were wavier than Raihan expected but damn, was it a sight. He mentally told himself that it was worth the nearly two week wait just to see it down. </p>
<p>“Fuck, the trolley.” Piers made his way for the exit again, forgetting to grab a shopping cart. Raihan was quicker, offering to grab it. When he returned, the shorter tried to grab ahold of the handle only for Raihan to make himself more comfortable leaning onto the hard plastic. He smiled, waving him off,</p>
<p>“I said I got it, you do your thing.” Piers’ blue-green eyes watched him carefully for a moment before shrugging.</p>
<p>“If you prefer.” </p>
<p>A lot of what he picked up was what you'd expect from a normal grocery run: milk, eggs, butter, bread etc. They had a moment of disagreement while trying to locate the cans of baked beans and while Piers was right, Raihan couldn't help but sulk a little. This was his market anyway and he didn't like to make a fool of himself. The incident earned them a few odd looks. And the first word that came to his mind when he noticed two older women smiling at their direction was, <i>domestic</i>. </p>
<p>“Aren't beans vegetables?” Raihan complained, reaching a higher shelf for a jar of a specific brand of apple sauce that his friend requested. </p>
<p>“Technically, but most stores have 'em on display outside of the shelves 'cause y’know, popular breakfast item, you git.” Piers responded, a smile in his voice. He crossed his arms, turning towards the larger body with playful concern, “do y’not shop for yourself? You seem like the type that would have a poor girl do the work.” He was only kidding but it weirdly stung. Raihan tried his best to not let his smile falter.</p>
<p>“Firstly, I'm not in a relationship and even if I was, no. I'll have you know I'm very much a reliable kinda guy. I mean, just don't expect me to fix your lights or something but I got most shit down.” Piers put his hands up in mock defeat, rolling his eyes.</p>
<p>“Alright. Duly noted.” He smirked, turning on his heel nearly whipping Raihan with the black and platinum locks. Not that he would’ve min—</p>
<p>“So. You know Leon.” Raihan began, looking at the items that were in the cart. They made their way to the next aisle. He heard a sarcastic 'mmhm', like it was a dumb thing to ask. He continued anyway, “how about the others? You remember the other two at the pub, yeah?” </p>
<p>“I don't know them personally. I’ve seen the redhead, Sonia was it, with Leon on occasion but never spoke to 'er. The other one only on magazines that my—I've seen around.” Raihan nodded, letting Piers pause before continuing. “Didn't know you lot were wannabe famous.” Now he saw were Marnie got it. He snorted, watching as Piers threw a few bags of chips in the cart followed by some sour hard candies. </p>
<p>“Yeah? And what about you Mr. I-enjoy-singing. Bet you sing for some reason.” He received an annoyed glare, not angry, but very much unamused. </p>
<p>“Myself, you twat. I don't go postin' it, is all.” </p>
<p>“Ah, right.” Raihan stood up straight scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. Well, he wasn't wrong, considering that yeah, they really did put their lifestyles out there and he just sort of assumed most people did. Guess they don’t. He continued pushing the cart towards the checkout. Piers eventually turned around and swatted his arm, his expression softening very slightly.</p>
<p>“I'm fucking with you. Don't look so serious, Rai.”</p>
<p>The nickname caught him off guard, having not heard it in literal years. Granted the others referred to him as such but Piers…not since they were teenagers. He pursed his lips together, trying not to smile too obviously. This earned him a confused look from the other who quickly shrugged it off while he unloaded his things on the register belt. The transaction went without incident, and everything was paid for and bagged in a few minutes. </p>
<p>Piers groaned trying to pry one of the bags out of the taller's hands, annoyed that he was unable to. He crossed his arms and glared up at Raihan who couldn't hold back his laughter. </p>
<p>“I'm sorry, I would feel bad if you toppled over carrying all this by yourself. It’s fine, I got it.”</p>
<p>“Don't need your help, I got it you arse.” When he noticed that Raihan wouldn't budge he left it be. They exited the market. Since the wind seemed to pick up, Piers quickly threw his hair back into his coat. “That's all that I needed to do actually. Wanna grab a coffee? My treat.” </p>
<p>“Coffee? Are you even English?” Raihan teased, following behind the other as they made their way to a nearby café. He already knew which one it was. </p>
<p>“Sod off. Yes, I prefer coffee. More caffeine, so I don't fuckin' die.” Piers tried to justify. </p>
<p>The two walked about a block to the café that rested snuggly between a bookstore and some business Raihan forgot what. He held the door open for a woman that wasn’t far behind them and stood by waiting for Piers to enter. To him it wasn't a big deal to be, he didn't know, <i>helpful</i> but the more his friend looked confused and offended the more he realised Piers was probably not used to being helped, even if just a little. That fact kind of saddened him, only making him more curious on what kind of life the other has been living. Piers finally made his way into the café with a low 'thanks’. Raihan beamed at this.</p>
<p>The smell of espresso and miscellaneous baked goods filled the entire vicinity and the capacity of Raihan's lungs. Personally, he preferred tea but was alright with iced coffee drinks. Not so much the hot variants, no matter how cold the weather was. They ordered their drinks, Raihan a black tea with a splash of milk and one sugar and Piers a triple espresso. Raihan paid without thinking about it, putting his recent earnings to use. He wasn’t trying to offend his friend just trying to be friendly. Piers kept quiet with a furrowed brow as he made his way to a table next to a window. </p>
<p>Raihan waited at the handoff as their drinks were being prepared, occasionally stealing glances at the other. One thing that hadn’t changed since his school days was that he still enjoyed the way Piers looked as he was people watching, his eyes focused and mouth in a thin line as his gaze wondered about. Even when the drinks were finished being made, Raihan waited 30 more seconds before walking towards the table slowly, trying not to startle his friend.</p>
<p>“This seat taken?” Raihan placed the drinks down gingerly. Piers rolled his green eyes, taking the mug and plate. He took a sip before placing it back down and hugged his elbows, leaning against the table. </p>
<p>“So…” he started, letting the word float above them. Raihan took it as his queue to start the conversation. It was a little nerve-wracking speaking face to face, even for a social butterfly like himself. </p>
<p>“’kay, so you know I do 'wannabe' model work and all. What about you? What have you been doing?” Raihan asked, genuinely curious. He began stirring his tea</p>
<p>Piers made a face at the question but still answered, “y’mean work? Recently been workin' at a record shop.” When he noticed the way Raihan beamed at this he shook his head, “not what you think. The place’s a bleeding shit whole. I’ll judge you if you buy records. Just buy a damn cd player if y'wanna go 'vintage'.” Raihan found the others personal gripe with vinyls amusing.</p>
<p>“Really? You seem like the type who’d be into that stuff.” </p>
<p>“When I was young and naïve and didn't get the inconveniences.” He snorted. </p>
<p>“Alright then, how 'bout you? Why the pictures? Do you not have any work skills or are you just a bloody narcissist?” Piers asked mirthfully behind the rim of his drink. Raihan rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“It pays well to look this good. I was blessed so I just utilise what I've been given.” He tried to defend. To be honest, even he didn't know what he’d be doing if social media or Nessa's projects weren't a thing. Better he not say that though. </p>
<p>“Yeah, you've got good features. Maybe I'm jus' envious.” Piers shrugged, glancing out the window. Raihan could feel the warmth creeping on the back of his neck, and it wasn't because of the heater inside of the café. </p>
<p>“Don't sell yourself short though.” He retorted.</p>
<p>Piers turned to him and pointed at his own face, “I've got bags under my eyes, my skin is dry and I can’t gain weight for shit.” He deadpanned. After a few seconds he smirked, “but I ain’t an insecure schoolgirl, so it is what it is.” </p>
<p>Raihan had to stop himself from saying things like 'but I think you are attractive’ or 'you've got good features’ lest he come off as flirting. Which wasn't the point of him hanging out with him today. He had to think about Piers as another friend of his; would he say those types of things to another one of his buddies if one of them was in Piers’ place? Sure he found him attractive, and under different circumstances would <i>probably</i> pursue him, even if it didn't fit the pattern of people he's dated recently but he had to remind himself of two very important key details about why that wouldn't work: firstly, they probably could’ve been something a long time ago but that obviously didn't work out for a reason and secondly, and arguably the most important thing was, Piers was <i>taken</i>. And he was no homewrecker. At the very least, he’ll look but won't touch.</p>
<p>“You alright?” Raihan blinked not realising his mind went off on a tangent. He nodded with a toothy smile. </p>
<p>“Can I ask you something?” he began, which earned him a few blinks from the shorter, “would you be opposed to being friends?” </p>
<p>“Huh? Are you a child? What kinda ques—” when he noticed the serious expression on Raihan's usually laid-back face, he stopped mid-tease, suddenly looking a little nervous. Piers nodded, sitting up.</p>
<p>“S-Sure. Of course.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>x x x</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not wanting to be those people, they only stayed inside of the café for about an hour and some minutes, talking. Since it was nearing lunch more people gathered inside of the establishment and on the streets. Piers glowered at the sea of people, treading behind the larger body using him like a shield. Raihan couldn't help but laugh at the others dispair. They made their way back to the bus stop. </p>
<p>Towards the end of them being inside of the café, Raihan noticed the way Piers phone kept going off. He wasn't sure if they were message notifications or it ringing on vibrate but either way, the other didn't look too happy about it and it was him who called it a day, much to Raihan's disappointment. He had a feeling who it was. </p>
<p>When they finally reached the bus stop, Raihan placed the grocery bags on the pavement, “you sure? I could carry them to your place if it's easier for you” he offered. Piers shook his head, rubbing his hands together for warmth before taking out his phone. </p>
<p>“That's…that’s not necessary. ‘sides, I'm gonna call a cab. Also, sorry 'bout this. Somethin' came up, but if anything we can do somethin' maybe later this week?” </p>
<p>“Not a problem. You have my number, text me whenever you're free and all.” They made eye contact briefly before both nodding. Saying their goodbyes, they parted ways and if it wasn’t for the fact that Raihan wanted to look at him one more time from where he was down the street, he would've never noticed the black sports car that parked in front of the stop, blocking the bus from entering it. </p>
<p>It was that guy from the bar, from what Raihan could see. He couldn't hear what was being said but he could very much see the way both yelled at each other, starting with Piers. He saw the way that guy grabbed the bags and chucked them in the passengers side, yelled some more and started pushing the shorter towards the car. Raihan didn't like it one bit, but before he could maybe confront the situation, Piers got in and the car drove off with an obnoxious screech. He really hated guys like that. </p>
<p>Even after the car was long gone and he was back in the comfort of his own home, Raihan couldn't shake the feeling of anger from himself. Now that he got the confirmation of Piers accepting him as a friend (again), he was pissed. Pissed at the fact that someone was treating him like what he saw earlier. But it wasn't at all biased because he would very much feel the same sort of anger towards someone who would treat any of his other friends like that. </p>
<p>Without thinking, Raihan punched the door open to his bathroom, flinching more at the sound of wood cracking than the pain on his knuckles. Shit, well there goes his deposit. </p>
<p>“Fuck.”</p>
<p>He really wanted to be a good friend.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry if the events were a little boring. I really enjoy the slow ordinary stuff.</p>
<p>Also, I learned the word 'simp' not to long ago...I think I like that kind of Raihan oops ww</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Crossroads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wouldn't be for nearly a week that he would hear anything from Piers. </p><p>And during that time of no contact, a few thoughts—some of which had nothing to do with each other—ran through his head. It varied between hoping Piers was doing alright or thinking about something inappropriate, there was no in between. A part of Raihan felt guilty, but reasoned with himself that he was…well, he couldn't say he was a growing boy anymore, but that he was a man and that he was weak to his instincts, by nature. </p><p>To be completely honest, he'd be lying if he said that those 'instincts’ were exclusive to Piers and Piers only, as that just wasn't the case. And although he didn't <i>expect</i> anyone to dress or act by any standard that society placed, he admittedly appreciated the efforts people did if and when they did it. But again, not necessary.</p><p>That Friday, they got a new girl at the agency Nessa worked for. </p><p>She was around the same age as them, not overly bubbly but her personality was pleasant. She was a little taller than Nessa, a fit figure and her long brown hair reached the mid of her back. Nessa, being a 'good friend’, introduced them to each other. They hit it off, which was a good thing considering they were going to be working together. Raihan mainly saw it from a professional stand point at the moment, but during the walk to the train station after work that day, he learned that Nessa was trying for a more <i>friendly</i> introduction.</p><p>“So, she's pretty cute huh?” she began, smiling cheekily to the taller. Raihan stopped his scrolling through his feed, thinking for a second before answering her.</p><p>“Well <i>yeah</i>, she's a model. She’s beautiful…” he admitted. When he didn't get an immediate response, he warned, “look, I appreciate it, but I'm just not looking to get involved with anyone yet.” </p><p>Which wasn't a lie. He had his reasons and he didn't feel like he had to explain himself. The new girl was attractive and all that, but he felt content just checking her out and leaving it at that. No matter how that sounded.</p><p>“I know, but Rai, weren't you the one complaining to Sonia that you didn't want to die alone?” she teased.</p><p>“She told you that?” he really shouldn’t have been as surprised as he probably sounded.</p><p>“Of course, she tells me everything.” Nessa stated matter of fact. </p><p>They crossed the street, and entered the station before she ended the conversation with “Just consider it. Looks like she's already interested in you.” </p><p><i>’Ah, so it’s like that again huh'</i> Raihan thought to himself, recalling the way the new girl kept touching his forearm as he showed her around the building. He was unable to dwell on it before his phone received a notification with a light buzz. He almost forgot he was holding it in his hand. It was a text from Piers.</p><p>Piers: if you’re not busy, you should stop by the shop. want to show you something</p><p>Raihan blinked at the message, the random invitation a pleasant surprise and break from his previous conversation and thoughts. He was tired, but was willing to take the ride to Spikemuth if Piers asked him to. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to do anything for the rest of the night anyway, other than the obvious. He messaged the other, letting him know that he'd be there in a bit. </p><p>As he headed for the record shop, Raihan thought about how his role felt reversed, somehow. He wondered if this was how some of his exes or admirers were with him, overlooking inconveniences just for the sake of feeding into their infatuations of him. It wasn't to say that he himself wasn’t guilty of these things in the past, just that it was more obvious the other way around. There was probably something wrong with him. </p><p> </p><p>x x x</p><p>Finding Piers’ workplace wasn't terribly difficult. It actually wasn't that far from the dive bar they went to a few weeks ago. He approached it cautiously, like the old rundown building would eat him up right there. A drunk, bearded man sat in front of the shop and said something with slurred words before he began laughing at the taller. Yeah, Raihan really didn't fit in. The old wooden door needed a good push for it open, the doorknob useless, other than a device to get a better grip. How was this place still in operation?</p><p> </p><p>When he entered the dim lit room, he was greeted by silence and an almost tangible wall of dust and cigarette smoke. He waved it off, taking a few steps forward, careful not to knock into any of the wobbly looking bins with alphabetised records lined neatly inside. He called for Piers but received no immediate response.</p><p>Piers eventually poked his head around the corner of what Raihan assumed was the employee back. He gave a nod of his head as a greeting as his hands were full carrying a box of miscellaneous things. Raihan being a gentleman and good friend, took it from Piers’ arms. He was surprised by the weight of it and had to give the shorter some credit for being able to carry the heavy thing even a few feet, which probably sounded mean. </p><p>“So, what was so great that I had to travel all the way here after a long day's work looking this good?” Raihan asked jokingly, dusting his hands on his pants. Luckily he was in casual clothes. </p><p>Piers tightened his ponytail before throwing his hands up in the air, presenting absolutely nothing. Raihan's blue eyes scanned around the both of them, trying to see what exactly he was looking at. “This.” Piers started flatly. This confused Raihan.</p><p>“’This’?” </p><p>“Yeah. Look how shitty this place is.” The shorter dropped his hands, returning his attention to the box and letting Raihan take it in for a moment. Raihan's stood there dumbfounded, not sure if he felt disappointed or something along those lines. </p><p>Piers, noticing his expression, rolled his eyes and shove something against his chest. “Jus’ fuckin’ with you, mate. <i>This</i> was what I actually wanted to show you.” </p><p>It was an old polaroid camera. It looked similar to the one that Piers’ mother used when she took photos of them when the were teenagers. Speaking of which, he should probably drop by and say hello to the woman, considering he was back in her son’s life and all…</p><p>“Cool! Where'd you get this from?” he fidgeted with the device, dusting off the viewfinder. Once it was cleaned off he peered into it, looking around the room. “Does it work?” </p><p>“I found it when I was cleanin' in the back. Boss says I can have it, but got no use for it. You…you can take it if you wanna. Since you’re into takin’ pictures and all…” Piers tugged the long sleeves of his black sweater down from his thin forearms, shrugging “It works. Little discoloration, but I think it's ‘cause the film's old. Also you gotta mess with the film door when you close it. Other than that, works fine.” He went back to the box, rummaging. </p><p>Raihan smiled appreciatively, looking at the old thing. He personally didn't need it considering his phone was just fine, but of course he’d take it since it was basically a gift. He looked through the viewfinder and without thinking about it, took a picture of Piers’ profile as he was working on the box on top of the counter with a loud click. Piers shot his head up like a prairie dog, blue-green eyes wide and alert.</p><p>“What did you take??” he walked quickly over to Raihan, who wore a shit-eating grin. When the film ejected, he shook it like how he saw in movies. There was no distinctive image. Piers crossed his arms, smirking.</p><p>“You git, it ain't gonna be ready <i>instantly</i> instantly.” Raihan’s smile was unfazed as he looked at the photograph again.</p><p>“All good, I'll be long gone before you can see it.” He teased. Piers tried to snatch the photo from his friend's hand but Raihan being a whole head taller, stood there with his arm up in the air, far from Piers’ grasp. </p><p>“Oi, oi you bloody creep—give it here. I'm serious.” Piers whinged, trying to reach for it, fruitlessly.</p><p>“Apologies, darling. But I simply cannot.” Raihan responded in a mock posh accent. He felt a flutter in his chest when he noticed the embarrassment painting it's way onto Piers’ pale face. “calm down, you're only gonna tire yourself.” He dropped his free hand onto his friend's thin shoulder to stop his sad tiptoeing, immediately pulling back the moment Piers hissed in pain. </p><p>Piers took a step back, trying to play it off with a forced chuckle, “Didn't mean to frighten’ya, I…uh, I sorta fell. In the back earlier.” He didn't make eye contact saying this, his sea foam colored eyes looking at the monochromatic walls like they were a witness to his alibi.<br/>
Raihan pursed his lips together in a tight, thin line, weary. There it was again, that feeling in the pit of his stomach. He watched the other carefully as he fiddled with the ring on his silver choker, clearly nervous.</p><p>“Is that…so.” </p><p>“Yeah. Clumsy me. I guess.” </p><p>“You’re lying.” Raihan quickly covered his mouth, unable to take back the words he had been thinking. Piers glared at him, half offended before crossing his arms and making his way back to the check stand. Raihan followed suit. “Shit. Sorry, I didn't me—“<br/>
“So. Anythin' new with work an' all?” Piers cut him off in a monotone voice, opening the register to sort notes. Raihan blinked in disbelief at the sudden change of subject, now he was the one offended. </p><p>He didn't expect a whole sob story, but he almost wanted to yell at the other something along the lines of 'at least make it fucking believable’ since he was so unfazed about lying to him. But the reasonable part of Raihan's brain told him that he himself was being a jackass for thinking that his friend owed him any sort of explanation. Especially someone who had just come back into his life.</p><p>But Raihan wasn’t dumb. Deep down, he <i>knew</i> what was going on, based on the very little but very obvious signs. He had seen a girl from the agency go through the same shit a few months ago. And like back then, he didn't know what to do or say to make her feel better or if any of that was even appropriate to do in that sort of situation to begin with. </p><p>“Work’s fine. Kind of a slow period with winter coming.” Raihan paused before continuing his previous path of conversation. Regardless if it was selfish of him, he cared. He cared about the other’s well-being and didn't want to see his friend end up like his co-worker, with a busted lip and coming up with some fantastic story. “Piers…if something was going on, you'd tell me, right?” </p><p>Piers stopped counting the bills and began staring at the register till, smiling bitterly to himself. “’If something was going on’…yeah, sure, mate” </p><p>“Don't say it like that. I'm being serious here, you know. I’m sorry, but I don't believe that 'I fell' shit.” The shorter rolled his eyes, furthering Raihan's frustration.</p><p>“Fine. Don't believe it then. My business ain't your business to begin with, Raihan.” This was a warning first, plea second, underlying the stern words he spat back. Both men held eye contact for a good 20 seconds, neither backing down. Piers was the first to pull away, closing his eyes with an exasperated sigh. “look…’m fine. Jus' trust me, alright?” </p><p>Raihan rubbed the back of his neck, now feeling tired himself. “Fine. But give me a ring if you need help getting rid of a tosser or something.” He offered with a weary smile. Piers touched his own shoulder, subconsciously.</p><p>“Alright.” He glanced at the wall clock hung to the side. He rolled his neck and shoulders then gathered the notes, shoving them back into the till. “Well, 'm closing shop for the day. Gotta get dinner ready for Marn'. Uh, sorry for contacting you short noticed. Don’t really know your schedule.” </p><p>“Nah, this was worth it,” Raihan lifted the camera for clarification, “and by all means, get ahold of me whenever. I’ve got free time coming up.” This time Raihan offered a more hearty smile before he parted ways with the other. The camera was only the icing.</p><p> </p><p>x x x</p><p> </p><p>Social media was going through a dry spell this season. Raihan wondered if it was because it was getting colder or something. Most of the posts he scrolled through were very similar to one another: winter clothes, pictures of lattes or teas and the occasional selfie with a caption complaining about having a 'winter body’. Regardless, he found himself idly scrolling and double tapping, a motion he programmed himself to do robotically. He was on his lunch break and didn't feel like going outside the building to get food, opting to buy a sandwich from one of the vending machines and hang out in the lobby. Normally Nessa would entertain him with 'girl talk’, but she was actually off today. </p><p>He paused on a picture of a thin hand opened, palm up, with Spikemuth in the background. The photo was time-stamped from late last night. It read 'first snow fall', coming from Piers’ account. He was finally able to follow the other, having to pry the info out of him. Piers didn't post much and had it not been for the profile picture of his choker and the fact that all the pictures where of his grundy little hometown, you couldn't really tell it was his account. Piers warned him that his content was 'boring’ but it didn't stop Raihan from liking most of his posts. He chuckled to himself, finding it weirdly cute that a someone as grown and as serious as his alternative-styled friend found something like snow worth posting about. </p><p>He kept scrolling but stopped immediately after on the next post. It was from the new girl, who he started following yesterday. Her social media was the opposite of her personality at work. Whereas she was kind of plain but cute at work, online she was more…<i>bold</i>, her posts mostly made up of glamor shots of her very fit body. Her latest picture, and the one he was currently staring at like a 14 year old boy, was one of her in a large plain white tee, in front of light shining from a door of some sort. The shirt did little to leave anything to the imagination, her silhouette a thin shadow underneath the almost sheer t-shirt, her nipples poking against the fabric teasingly as she posed, stretching upwards. Raihan wanted to call it artistic but the small amount of blood traveling south said it was something else. He gave it a like. </p><p>“Wow, thanks for the like. Didn't think you'd notice.” Speak of the devil. She leaned over his shoulder, her hair tickling the side of his face, nearly startling him. Raihan sat up more properly from his slouching on the armchair, giving her an unsuspicious smile as she made her way to the chair text to his. She smiled back. </p><p>“Nice…lighting. Really brings out the picture.” He commented, looking down at his phone. She chuckled, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. She leaned forward, smiling mirthfully at him.</p><p>“Hm. Is that what you call it? Well, <i>thank you</i>. Although, I think the lighting accentuates you more. You know, your <i>features</i>” She gave him a once over, before crossing her legs slowly, holding eye contact. It had been awhile since he was challenged this much. Naturally the flirt, he played along, although his brain was telling him to stop.</p><p>“Well, I know a few good <i>places</i> we can check out.” He said nonchalant, looking back down at his phone. He wore a smirk, leaving the offer in the air for her to take or leave. They mostly took.</p><p>“Oh? That's great to hear, I’ve been feeling a bit uninspired, so I'll take you up on that offer. Let me give you my number.” As she typed her number in his device, he noticed how she smelled flowery and was strikingly ‘normal’ compared to the smell of cigarettes and the look of an insomniac that he had been getting used to.<br/>
He didn't have a physical preference but it just dawned on him at that moment that his 'palate’ was starting to be all over the place. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Raihan felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. When in actuality he didn't really have 'options' and the 'right’ option was glaringly obvious.</p><p>Phone calls, texting, social media…he was consuming these things at greater amounts the last several days like he was starved of them. What he was actually starved of though, was connection. Everyday he was bouncing between texts and calls from both his co-worker and Piers, along with the miscellaneous ones from his other friends. And sometimes he’d be caught at a crossroads where he had to prioritise one over the other. And while both parties and the 'theme’ of their conversations were very much different, Raihan would end up confused as to who he said what to or how a specific thing one said to him made him feel. </p><p>In the end, though, his bias would peek through. And he would find himself following Piers’ trail more even though he knew that wasn't the 'right’ choice. He was literally being spoon-fed a beautiful girl who was <i>very</i> much obviously interested in him and yet his stubbornness made him want option B.</p><p>So Raihan made the decision one night when both had asked if he was free to hangout the following day. He didn't want to, but he <i>had</i> to turn Piers down despite wanting to see him again. Instead, he agreed on a casual date with his co-worker, telling his friend that they can hangout another time. Raihan, restless in bed that night, looked between the last message he received from his co-worker of a smiley emoji and the picture of Piers’ frowning profile that hung crookedly above his nightstand, feeling somewhat unsatisfied with his decision. But he didn't want to humor his hopefulness hearing the possible disappointment in Piers' voice when he said 'I have prior engagements’.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If it isn't obvious, het tag is going to be added. Don't worry, it's just a plot device 🙏</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hopefully this was somewhat enjoyable.</p>
<p>As a note, if my reference to anyone's height seems off, I'm basing it off a jp tweet as I'm not 100% familiar with the feet/inch thing.<br/><a href="https://mobile.twitter.com/t0m0_s1n4/status/1235201552689684481">Twitter</a><br/>I heard that in the west, Raihan is like 203 cm which is 𝒰𝓃𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓋𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒🙃</p>
<p>Anyway, thanks for reading</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>